That hardware store smell

You know what I’m talking about. It’s that special smell that greets you every time you walk into a hardware store. I’ll just list the ingredients along with the recipe. Blend slowly and let your nose go wild. 

Hardware smell (six servings)

A pinch of mulch
A few pounds grass seed
Dash of fertilizer
Handful of pipe shavings with oil (from the pipe threader)
Squirt or two of WD-40
Half a dozen rolls of solder (lead-free!)
A spoonful of Quikrete
A pinch of fresh paint vapor
A variety of nails (by the pound)
Shingles (best when hot)
Half a pot of coffee (No flavored or decaf)
Several over-enthusiastic problem solvers
PVC and rubber hose to taste
Copper, galvanized and black pipe
At least one pocket protector

Mix all ingredients, then add in over-enthusiastic problem solvers slowly. Let stand in a cool place for 20 minutes. Make a pass through the tool aisle and it should be ready.

Note: Some like more mulch and less paint vapor; you also can substitute the shingles with some tar cement crack filler.